This may not be funny, and it's not really from "Little Savage". It's simply a short true story. Today, I issued a “Ticket from the Universe” to a guy who took my parking space just as I was parking.
I had my indicator on, pulled up beside the car in front of the only space on the block, in what is a deliberate display of intention to park. This guy in a brand new black Mercedes C class pulled into my spot, right behind me as I was backing into it.
At first I was really pissed off, I turned and pointed to the driver then me. When realized the MB driver wasn’t budging, I drove around the corner and parked. I started to cry, but then my anger kicked back in. I wanted to call him an asshole. He had no clue what I was going through, that this tiny little smidgeon on the event horizon was about to be a catalyst for my deep sorrow about the state of the world, the universe and everything that was wrong in my life.
Instead of diving into that mental space, I decided to pull up to my Higher Instincts. I got out a piece of bright pink post-its and wrote. “This is a Ticket from the Universe. You need to exercise more kindness.”
That was it. No time to mull over the words. I hurriedly gathered my things, power walked to where my space had been stolen, secretly hoping to confront the driver. I saw a man and a woman getting out of the car, rushing across the street behind the Lobero Theater. For all their hurry in parking, it took them several minutes to exit their car. I was secretly hoping they had had an argument about his bad behavior.
Feeling like an “Angel of Mercy” for the poor woman who had to put up with this guy’s Ass Holiness, I placed the Ticket from the Universe on their windscreen under the wiper blade, wishing I had a bright green City Parking Enforcement envelope in which to place it.